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Merphers
Pheno: So, you may be wondering; why am I at this farm and killing everyone with a combine? Why have you never seen me in the show? And most importantly, why the S**T does every movie these days start in the chronological middle? Well, all of this will get explained. * Flashback to Norpher Land.* * Pheno: You see, when my father sprayed his crème Chantilly in my mother's mango, he was not expecting the two Norphers to make a Morpher like me. * Cut to Norphers in army camp.* * Pheno: You see, these white a*s guys are Norphers. So white they'll shoot up your school. These "Norphers" are trained to become troopers in the Norpher Squadron. * Cut to shooting camp.* * Pheno: Now this mustachio man? He is Major Norpher. Do not F with this nib. He will kill you. * Major Norpher gets shot in the testicles. He groans, then covers his crotch.* * Pheno: If you s**t with Major, you get tortured until every fabric of your soul is left for dead. * Cut to Norphers getting hung on scaffolds, beheaded by guillotines, and shredded in chippers.* * Pheno: Worst part? He is my dad. Anywho, one day, I decided to join the Morphers. I used being a spy as the decoy, and since I have gotten to know a lot of Morphers! * Cut to Pheno fapping in a dumpster.* * Pheno: Whoops, did NOT mean to show that! * Cut to Pheno signing up for Elites.* * Pheno: THERE! Elites! I decided to join the university that would have me be an Elite Morpher! * Luke, as the account, looks up.* * Luke: Here for tram passes? * Pheno: No, I am joining the Elites. * Luke: Oh. Line is over there. * Luke points to a 1,234,567,890 mile line.* * Pheno: Son of a b*tch! * Luke: If it makes matters better, you get to fill this applicaiton on the way over. * Pheno: GIMME THAT! * Pheno takes an application.* * Pheno: Ugh, damn these lines. * Luke: Uh, that is the application for joining the next season of Don't Scare the Hare. * Pheno runs back to Luke.* * Pheno: GET THIS PIECE OF S**T OUT OF MY HANDS! Where is the Elite application? * Luke: Here. * Gives Pheno it.* * Pheno: Ah, thank you, LukeyDuke. * Luke: Any time. * Pheno walks away as Luke sneezes all over Zoe.* * Zoe: Luke, you FREAKING SNEEZY CRACKER. * Luke: Hey, you deserved it, you racist. * Pheno is walking into line.* * Pheno: Alright, let's see what this application has. * Pheno signs a few things. Time card says "A couple eternities later."* * Fritz: Signups for Elites? * Pheno: HERE! * Pheno gives Fritz the app.* * Fritz: Alright, we will review this and see if you can get in. * Pheno: (Narrating) They did. * Cut to Pheno walking to the college.* * Pheno: I AM HYPERVENTILATING RIGHT NOW! * Entrance opens.* * Teacher: Pheno, come on in! * Teacher: Good morning class. Would everyone take a seat? * Pheno sits* * Pheno: Psst, Krish, sit here. Here. * Krish sits there.* * Fritz: Um, excuse me, there do not seem to be any empty seats left. * Teacher: But there is one right next to Sid. sits there, and Sid touches him * Fritz: Do you mind? * Sid: Do not worry Fritz, we are friends now! I will teach you everything I know, and then we can. * Fritz: We will not be doing anything, because there is no we! Understand? * Sid: ''Wii will not be doing anything? WII? * '''Teacher:' Quiet in the front. * Pheno: Yeah, Fritz! Not everyone has the perfect mohawk you have and everything! * Teacher: Okay class, how about we get to know our new students, by telling each other why we were sentenced to the Elites. * Vincent: Um, Tess is impressed with me because I killed someone once. * Teacher: Extremely great! Alright, whose second? * Vincent: I do not see what is so "extremely great" about me killing someone. * Teacher: No, I did not mean "great". * Vincent: Dammit, I know exactly what you meant! * Teacher: Next. * Pheno: Oh, I am here because I. * Teacher: We all know why you are here, Pheno, you are reforming. What about you, sir? * Krish: Me? * Teacher: Yes. I would love it if you told the rest of the class, why you are with us today? * Krish: Why I am. All right, I will tell you. I AM THE CHIEFTAIN OF MY VILLAGE! * Cricket chirp is heard.* * Teacher: Come up to the chalkboard, and draw a story about how you became chief. * Krish: Gladly. what he is saying I was the wisest, most handsome, biggest, strongest, bravest, frankest, nicest, sincerest, most Able-bodied, Abloom, Abounding, Above, Aboveboard, Absolute, Absolved, Abundant, Accelerated, Acceptable, Accepted, Accepting, Accessible, Acclaimed, Accommodated, Accommodating, Accommodative, Accomplished, Accordant, Accountable, Accredited, Ace, Aces, Achieving, Accurate, Accustomed, Acknowledged, Acknowledging, Acquainted, Active, Actual, Actualized, Acuminate, Acuminous, Adaptable, Adapted, Adapting, Adaptive, Adept, Adequate, Adjusted, Admirable, Admired, Admissible, Adonic, Adorable, Adored, Adoring, Adroit, Advanced, Advantaged, Advantageous, Adventuresome, Adventurous, Advisable, Advocative member of my hood. Can I sit down now, immeasurable a*s? * Teacher: Why, certainly. Oh, immeasurable? Why, you are so admiring! * *''Bell rings, then cuts to everyone eating hamburgers for lunch, and Sid sits next to Vincent.*'' * Sid: Ah, lunch time, eh, Vincent? * *Sid sits, and Vincent walks away, over to the bins.*'' * '''Vincent:' I will need to eat here, like in school. * *Vincent eats, then Sid pops up from the rubbish.*'' * '''Sid:' Vincent, do you have any Barbecue Sauce in there? * *Vincent runs away screaming. Cut to Pheno and Kristian eating lunch.* * Pheno: 'Yo, Kristian? What did you get on your burger? * Kristian: BOULDERS AND DIAMONDS! * *Kristian takes a bite of the sandwich, and bites on the stones. His teeth are shattered.* * Kristian: *Makes an undicipherable noise.* * Pheno: Yeah, that is kinda why I got napa, tomatoes, achars, and ahipa m on mine. * *Cut to Vanessa giving Glender and Chuck a basket of Profiteroles.* * Vanessa: Careful. The donut holes are hot. * Chuck: Oh okay. * *Chuck eats one.* * Chuck: (Eating with his mouthful) It is safe, but really warm. AND CREAMY! * *Glender eats a few buns.* * Glender: THEY ARE SO CREAMY! * *The duo continue to feast on rolls. Chuck drips the ice cream into his mouth and pukes.* * Glender: Yum, I think I have had these before. *Eats a cream puff, then gurgles on the cream.* * Chuck: Wait... * *The duo look at each other in complete horror. They regurgitate into each others' mouths.* * ''to the lavatory, where Vincent is eating * '''Vincent: Mm, bon appetite, Ernestein. * *Eats, but then sees Sid's feet are the other stall. Squidward gets angry, and throws his sandwich on the ground* * Vincent: You have ruined first period, you have ruined lunch, and have ruined... * *''Entrance opens, revealing that it is a Muscle Norpher, with Sid's shoes.. Scene cuts to Vincent walking to his seat, missing all of his teeth.*'' * Teacher: 'Welcome back class! (In shock) Uh, Vanessa, why are you all bruised? * '''Vanessa: '(In crutches with a cast and a black eye.) They found out what was in those pastries... * '''Teacher: Oh my! Okay class, it is time for our training. Pheno, you will be with Sid. * Pheno: Eh, did not see that coming. * *Cuts to them at the construction site.* * Teacher: Now, we are going to take this nice and slow. So, Sid, how do we make a bomb? * Sid: Uh, combine different colored Morpher Wheels? * Teacher: Great. Nice and basic. Now let us slowly... * *Pheno gets a tube full of one million Morpher Wheel explosives, then floors the brakes.* * Sid: Pheno, look out! * *They bump into a bunch of girders, then they barge through inside of the building''*'' * Pheno: BRAKKA BRAKKA BRAKKA! * *Pheno fires the Morpher Wheel bombs, exploding the building and going out of the site.* * Sid: Pheno, give me that wheel! * Pheno: I got it, I got it. * *''Pheno punches Sid a bunch of times.* * '''Sid:' Let go of it! * *''Pheno rips the steering wheel in half, and the Teacher screams. They drive into an old lady*'' * Wrinkle: Ruffians! * *They drive through Walmart, Party City, and they then drive into the sewer.* * *'A kid is looking in the storm drain, then Teacher and Sid come out.*'' * '''Kid: WTF. * *Kid slowly backs away from the Drain.* * Sid: Hey, where did Pheno go? * *Pheno ends up in a quarry.* * Pheno: Uh, there is no avalanche here, right?. * *Cuts to Pheno walking toward his desk with a large bump on his forehead.* * Teacher: Okay class, it is time to take our exam. Have your pencils ready. * Sid: Pst, hey, Winston, if you need any help, I have taken this test a hundred times, and. * Winston: How many times do I need to tell you?! I am not your friend! I do not need your help, and I hope you KILL YOURSELF! Now kindly let me take this dumba*s test, so I can get out of here, and never see you again, ever! * Sid: (Depressed) Fine, Winston, if that is the way you need it. * Winston: I do. up his pencil, but then it drops and rolls out of the room * Teacher: 3 minutes class. * Winston: Sid? Sid, I need your help. Look, I was gonna use my pencil, but then something just- * Teacher: 2 1/2 more minutes. * Winston: Sid, can you give me your pencil? This is important. I gotta finish this test to join the- * Sid: You said you did not need my help, and that you hoped I kill myself. So never, you pr*ck. * Winston: No no, I did not. I never said that. * Teacher: 2 more minutes * Glender: Uh, yeah, you did, I heard it for sure. * Winston: I HOPE YOU GO TO HELL YOU DICKWEED! * *Glender shrugs* * Winston: All right, I hoped that. But that was before. * Sid: Before? * Winston: Before, before... * Teacher: 1 minute, class. * Winston: Before we were, (gulp) soul mates for the rest of eternity and as long as time exists. * Sid: Yay! * Teacher: Okay class, time ius up. * Winston: Time cannot be up. I did not fill in a single answer. What am I supposed to do? * Teacher: You do the same thing that everyone else does. You take it 10 more times. * Winston: 10 MORE TIMES? * Sid: Do not worry, Winston, I failed the test, too! * Winston: AHQWJEUKDNHJUMIDLDNHUKGIFLGTO! * Pheno: Yeesh, you